Jesus on Acland Street
(King James Version)
Jesus was loitering in St Kilda this morning,
idle by the tram stop, smoking, watching
trams unload/load, come and go.
Long hair and beard white as stuff
that never falls from heaven in Melbourne,
thinning on the crown.
2 Looked worn out, bored
but not cross about anything.
3 Doesn't care about Acland Street
upgrade/downgrade or who wins
the football Grand Final.
4 Like His heavenly father,
He barracks for St Kilda Saints but
also has soft spot for Demons –
His mother's son.
Straining track pants undone,
in one pocket a flask of unholy spirits,
just enough to provide some comfort.
In left hand a degrading plastic bag
wherein nestle some discounted,
way out-of-date chocolate bars.
2 Obese, beyond world-weary, despondent.
3 Gets an Australian Age Pension,
nothing from country of His birth.
4 Never had proper jobs so no super-
annuation, no investment property.
5 Inherited small carpentry business
from long-suffering stepdad but in ideal-
istic youth drifted into philosophy.
6 Had a doughnut with pink icing earlier –
Ezekiel saw a wheel a'rollin – and way too
whitened coffee from convenience store.
Divine but diabetic Jesus long ago
stopped saying anything on street corners
or public parks for fear the unhinged
would abandon day jobs and families
to follow Him, demand the wine trick.
2 No Facebook, no blog, no cat, no dog;
behold the decrepit, benign dinosaur.
3 Had He simply remained dead ...
but such was not His fate.
4 No point swearing about longevity
but, Christ, He can feel the weight
of all those bloody Christian calendars.
5 Made so many obscene scenes,
thought His time was up during the brief
Age of Enlightenment, Communism.
6 Saw it all, almost, but never married
or had kids – no desire to perpetuate
rare genes, His odd problems.
7 Had countless opportunities,
could have written a book
but saw where that can lead.
Today He just sits, not watching,
not waiting and, unlike the rest of us,
not anticipating earthly or heavenly reward.
2 Condemned to roam till no souls
pray on Him so it'll be awhile yet.
3 Rivers of humanity flow down Acland
Street, sometimes low, sometimes swollen
like on footy Grand Final weekend,
but flowing, flowing, flowing
as long as that old sun shines.
*Acland St : notorious cafe strip,